When we're full with Kung Pao chicken, sweet and sour chicken, rice, dumplings and lo mein, we each open a fortune cookie. We have a belief in our household that fortunes don't necessarily belong to the opener of the cookie, just somebody at the table. So once we've all read the fortunes aloud, it's an unspoken tradition that we decide who gets which fortune. Tonight, this was mine, and it was applicable in two ways:
Courage is the mastery of fear--not the absence of fear.1. After dinner, I was scrolling through Twitter and saw that a former teammate of mine had just committed to Florida State to play soccer. So, my dad asked me if I was still okay with my decision to not play soccer in college and to quit. Looking back on the decision, there were two sides to me. The first and more dominant side was the one at complete peace with the situation. During a tournament in Colorado, I had just scored my dream goal and as I came off the field, I no longer envisioned myself playing in the upcoming season. It was also exciting to think of my weekends not being filled with 10 hour bus rides and Jason's Deli box lunches. The other half of me was freaking out. I had been playing soccer for as long as I could remember. I didn't know life without it. Like I said, Freaking Out.What if I miss soccer in a month? What if my dream school calls me right now offering me a roster spot? What will my teammates think? How am I going to tell my coach? Even though I knew this was what I wanted, it was still so hard. And I was so emotional. On the phone call with my coach, my tears got so bad that I had to secretly put myself on mute so I could blow my nose without him hearing. Through the blurry eyes and raspy voice, I made it through. There are still moments where I want nothing more than to train with my favorite coach and ex-teammates, but overall I'm very happy with my decision. I faced my fear of the repercussions of quitting, and so far I haven't looked back.
2. My friend just texted me, "a fattie spider crawled in my bed and I can't find it!!" This right there is courage. HE STARTED LOOKING FOR THE SPIDER IN HIS BED.
I can make tough, life-changing decisions, but if I were in his situation, I would have been out of that room so fast and would have been sleeping on the couch for a week. I don't know where he landed with the spider situation, and he hasn't responded for a few minutes. For all I know he's convulsing on his floor with a spider bite in his arm. But at least he looked. And I think that's what courage is about.
Dear Dragonwing Girl, I would like to start by saying you are amazing. No matter who you are, where you are, or what you have done to get to this point right now, you’re amazing. You have unlimited untapped potential and only the sky is the limit. I’m sure you’ve heard this before from loving grandparents whilst they grab your cheeks and squeeze you in a constricting hug, but right now- at this moment- I want you to read carefully. You are all the attributes I listed before and more; you are beautiful, strong, and smart and you can do everything you want to and more. Despite you and I knowing these things to be true, some will doubt you. Some will doubt you without even knowing you, and some will doubt you right after seeing your name on a resume. These some will be men, but they will also be women. Most will do this unconsciously, and I implore you to not be angry at them for the ignorance and bias they hold. I implore you to fight the fight of being a career-driven girl in a world run by men. Though it is important to not hold anger for the world being the way it is, do not conform to the need to be “pleasant” or “calm” or “collected." You can speak out when you see small forms of misogyny in your school or workplace. Whether it be a man dominating the discussion, or a guy in your group making snide comments, you can step up. You can make your voice be heard because you won’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. Because you can. So, stay strong because it can be hard sometimes. You might be called selfish or bossy or any other number of terms people like to use for women who don’t conform to their stereotypes, but if you struggle, if you stand your ground, if you fight for what you want, then we will be one step closer to gender equality. Sincerely, Your friend at Dragonwing girlgear, Abby
Pick a path with heartI know, I know. The wise fortune cookie writers probably had deeper endeavors in mind when writing this fortune. Oh well. Today, I picked my path with heart. Today, a Sunday in late January, my path was Netflix. I woke up at 9:03 am. It took me until 10:47 am to get out of bed. An hour and 44 minutes. That would be a full run through my Twitter and Instagram timelines, the Snapchat stories, my texts—all three of them—and two full episodes of "Lost." A great morning if you ask me. At 10:47, since I had already wasted those two hours, I decided the window for productivity for the entire day had closed. Basically, I ruined the possibility for anything to actually get done (other than finishing another season)....so I continued. This time with some food in my system.
If there's anything better than a Netflix day, it's a Netflix day with really really good snacks.Is there real stuff I could be doing? Well, of course. I'll get it done. Maybe...tomorrow (I promise that isn't what I said yesterday). And besides, filling out statistics worksheets brings me about one-third of the joy that muscly shirtless boys do walking around "The Island" trying to save the world. And while I might have to scramble to finish my worksheet before class tomorrow, at least I can say something like, "it was my fortune to enjoy my day like this!" Nobody can get mad at the universe (or the universes' messengers in the form of fortune writers), right?! Lucky numbers: 50: Number of handfuls of goldfish I’ve scooped into my mouth 47: Number of minutes per episode 22: Number of episodes in a season 1: Number of seasons I started and finished today 35: Number of times I thought about working out (Coincidentally, it’s also the number of times I chose not to workout) 20: Minutes it would take to just finish the worksheet